It’s been a while since I’ve stitched someone up. I used to do a few stitches a month when I worked at the University health clinics. Since starting my family practice though, I haven’t done a single suture in years. There’s two reasons for this: 1) Patients generally don’t go to their family doctor for stitches, rather they head to the closest ER or WIC. 2) I don’t have suturing materials at the office.
Yesterday, my husband was putting together the bike trailer he recently purchased. Daughter was at preschool, son was sleeping, so I took my bike out to the local gas station to fill up the tires. I’m not very good at it, and proceeded to completely drain the tire of air. For the life of me, I just couldn’t figure out how the air pump worked – I was having a “dumb” moment. Anyway, so I walked the bike back home and I can see my husband at the end of the driveway. Aw, isn’t that sweet, I think. He was wondering why I took so long and was looking for me.
As he approached me, I could see he had a towel wrapped around his hand. He unwraps the towel and says, “Does this need stitches?” There, on the palm of his left hand, under the index finger, is a nice gash about an inch long. “Yikes!”, I said. “Yep, that’ll need stitches.” The wound looked deep but on closer inspection, it actually wasn’t bleeding all that much. I started to problem solve quietly on how we could do this. Daughter was due to be picked up from preschool in half an hour, son was sleeping and I was due at work in 2 hours. Oh, and then I remembered that I don’t actually have any suture material at the office. DOH! And that’s when husband says, “I’ll just use crazy glue.” Um .. come again?
Then he proceeds to show me about 4 different scars where he used crazy glue to put himself back together. Better than sitting in an ER for hours on end, right? I reminded him that we need to clean out the wound (it was caused by slippage of a screwdriver) to which he replied, “Get the Vodka”. So, the first bottle I see is the Finlandia. “No!” he says, “Not the good stuff. Get the cheap stuff in the other cupboard.” Right. Of course, what was I thinking? So we clean out the wound and I remind him it’s a good thing I gave him a tetanus booster a few years ago (when I also gave him the H1N1 vaccine). 10 minutes later, wound is crazy glued and bandages are applied. Son is awake, I get ready for work and off we go to pick up daughter.
Who needs stitches when there’s crazy glue?! My husband, that’s who!