The Toddler

“Mommy, what’s that?”

“That’s a Death Star cookie jar.”

“I want that! Mommy, what’s that?”

“That’s a Chewbacca pillow.”

“I want that!”

“What’s that?  What’s that? MOMMY!  What’s that?”

“That’s a Boba Fett bobble-head doll.”

“Mommy, I want that! Mommy what’s that?”

“That’s a phone booth toy.”

We were at HMV this morning.  Husband was off looking for some Criterion Collection DVDs and I was on toddler duty. The store was pretty empty as it had just opened so we had the run of the store.  The toddler high-tailed it to the “toy section” and spent the next 10 agonizing minutes of my life with a game of 20 questions.

All this after a half-hour car ride which sounded like this:

“What’s that? Ooooh, treetcar! I want one. Daddy!  Look! A bus! Mommy!!  Mommy!!!!!!!  My boot fell ground! I want muffin! Daddy!! Bird, Daddy, look! What’s that, Mommy? Look, Mommy, a truck! I want one!”

Aren’t toddlers adorable?

I need a Tylenol.

 

 

 

 

Demands.

Day 7 – National Blog Posting Month

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Kid 1 – “Mommy, we have to read my French book.”

Kid 2 – “Mommy, can you make pancakes?”

Kid 3 – “Mammma, mak pacake?”

Kid 2 – “Actually, mommy can I have eggs instead?”

Kid 3 – “Mammma, ook car!”

Kid 1 – “Mom come on! We have to read my book.”

Kid 2 – “Mommy, I’m hungry. Eggs please!”

Kid 1 – “Mom, can I watch TV?”

Kid 2 – “Mommy, I’m thirsty!”

Kid 3 – “Mama! Mama! Poo poo bum.”

Time  – 7:48am.

The Longest Day of the Year.

Day 1 – National Blog Posting Month.

Welcome to another installment of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), where bloggers post daily for the entire month.  It’s a big commitment but one I have succeeded at in the past and I hope to be able to keep it up again this year.  I can promise my readers there will be talk of running, life as a mother, being a doctor and running a practice and being a daughter to elderly parents.  So, probably nothing terrible new.  Ha!

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It’s the day after Halloween and it’s not even 10am and I think my kids have asked for candy about a hundred times.  Right now I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than hear them ask for candy one more time.

The clocks turned back an hour last night. Daylight savings time.  I can vaguely remember it the thought of an extra hour of sleep was heaven. Not so much anymore. In fact, it’s a horrible joke played on many parents.  An extra hour of sleep? What a joke.  The toddler was up just before 5 am. And when I say up, I mean awake and ready to meet the world.  There was no way he was falling back asleep. Then the older two, I could hear talking around 5:45 am.  My older son came into my room and gave me a kiss – the distinct smell of chocolate on his breath.  It would appear they sneaked some candy in their room before going to bed last night.  Well played, kids. Well played.

A Midnight Battle of Will

“The Force is strong in this one.”

Two years old in a few weeks and he’s giving me more hassle than the other two before him combined.

Seriously, kid?

He expertly climbed out of his crib a month ago.  Happy as a pig in shit to do so. Ready for a big boy bed, it would seem.  So a big boy bed he got. Trouble is now he won’t stay in it.  Oh, eventually he’ll just tire at the gate and shuffle back to bed but when this happens at 1 am in the morning, it comes down to a battle of will.

“Maaaaama, I whan warhm miiiiilk.”

Me, softly, from my bedroom. “Go back to bed.”

“No. Miiiiiilk.”

Whining ensues. Tired whining.

Me: “Go back to bed.”

“No. Maaaaama.  I hugry.”

A few more minutes of whining.

“Daaaaady. I whan warhm miiiilk.”

Sternly, “Go back to bed. Night night.”

“Maaaaama.  Miiiiilk.”

This went on for over an hour. Eventually, his will broke and he found his way back to bed. Hmpfh. Hungry indeed.  Just stay the fuck in bed, kid.

The Longest Hour.

Daughter had her fracture clinic follow up this afternoon.  I had called this morning to book the appointment only to be told it was already booked and it was in a few hours.

Say again?  No one from the hospital called us, it’s only been 5 days since she was seen and yesterday was a holiday, so how can she be booked already?

Sigh.  Thank goodness her dad is at home.  I called my mom to see if she could come over to watch the baby and then called daughter’s school advising them that she was being picked up early.  Husband texted me from the clinic that it was busy and he would be late picking up our son from preschool.  I re-arranged my patient bookings so I could pick him up and take him home.

As I was about to leave to get my son, I received this text from husband.

photo(37)I hated that I wasn’t there for my daughter.  I called husband and told him my plan of getting our son, taking him home to my mom and then coming to the hospital. I was going to cancel the rest of my day.  I spoke with my little girl and she was obviously crying, “I don’t want surgery, Mommy.”  I tried to be as calm and upbeat as I could telling her that the doctors weren’t sure yet and we needed to wait to find out what the x-rays showed.  Hubby then took the phone away and said they were going for the x-rays and hung up.

I got home about thirty minutes later and anxiously waited for news.  I kept telling myself that its not a big deal if she needs surgery, after all husband had a similar fracture when he was 12, they would have matching scars!  But the thought of her being put under a general anesthetic and having her skin cut open and her bones screwed back together – ugh, it was awful.

Finally, I got service back on my phone and a flurry of texts came in.

“No surgery.”

“New cast for 2 weeks.”

And then … “Done and coming home.”

I gave her the biggest hug when I saw her and her fancy new cast.

Sigh … kids.

Playground Strikes Again. 

I received a text from husband this afternoon. 

“She fell off parallel bars and dislocated her elbow. I popped it back in. Going to emerg.” 

I promptly left the office before my last patient arrived and met them at the ER.  

Deja vu. 

Elbow swollen. At first I thought she suffered a pulled elbow but husband says she landed on an outstretched arm. The same arm she broke 9 months ago. 

Sigh. 

Thankfully the ER  was pretty quiet. We were triaged, seen, x-rayed and casted within two hours. 

While there was no obvious fracture seen her X-ray showed a class “sail sign” which in children is suggestive of a supracondylar fracture.  Leave it to my kid to have a textbook xray. 


She’s in a cast/splint until our next visit to the fracture clinic where they will re- xray her and see where things are at. She’s already decided she wants a pink cast this time. 

Kids.  

Tuesday Morning.

(Stumbling out of bed headed to the baby’s room).  “N…. N….!!!”

“Yeah, Mommy?”

“Time to get dressed for school!”

(Groaning) “Awwww… but I just started playing!”

“Get dressed please.”

(Walking into the baby’s room) “Good morning, little man!”

“Babba dadda mama mama mama hi mama mama!”

(Daughter walks in, naked) “Mommy, can I wear a dress today?”

“No, sweetie.  It’s very cold out. Put on pants and a sweater and warm socks.”

“Okay. Oh and mommy, this is my friend Lily.” (She gestures to the empty air beside her.)

“Hi Lily.”

“Lily is my imaginary friend.”

(Changing the baby’s bottom) “Okay, honey. Go get dressed please”

“Can Lily stay and watch you change J’s bum?”

“Sure.  Lily you can stand there while I change J’s bum. Wait, is Lily dressed for school?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, well  you go get dressed and then head downstairs for breakfast.”

(Daughter leaves the room)

(Son walks in, gesturing with his imaginary bow and arrow) “Hi Mommy.”

“Hi honey.  What have you got there?”

“Oh this is my bowen arrow.”

“Your what?”

“My bowen arrow.”

“What are you shooting at?”

“Targets.”

“Hmm… can you put it away and take Lily downstairs for breakfast?”

(Without a pause)  “Okay Lily, let’s go downstairs.”

(Meanwhile on the change table) “Baba dada mama mama mama buh buh buh hi.”

“I need coffee.”