Changes.

It’s been a while!

Hard to believe it’s almost the end of June. There’s been a lot going on in my world, most of it pretty good.

My dad is on the mend from his kidney stone issues and has remained pretty stable with respect to his memory and the Alzheimer’s disease (AD).  Two rounds of infection, two general anesthetics, mild delerium and his memory testing was the same!  Unbelievable really. The thing with AD is that the patient kind of remains oblivious to the reality around him.  He recognizes that his memory has declined but he doesn’t understand anymore the impact it has on everyone else, his wife especially.  If there is any blessing with AD it is that the patient loses their higher executive, frontal lobe functioning early.  It is quite the opposite for the family.  My mom is a strong woman though and she is managing pretty well; she goes to her weekly support group, my brother works from their place once a week and she visits the kids when it gets too much.  I wish there was more I could do for her and for my dad.

As for me,  I’ve done two races this month with decent results, given how awful the winter was with my running.  I have another 10K race this weekend and I am not expecting to do any better than 1:15 but that’s okay.  It’s an opportunity to have some fun, run on the highway and get a cool T-shirt and medal!

I’m starting a new part-time job next month in addition to my family practice.  It is an opportunity I sought out and I am excited about. It is an opportunity to grow as a physician, learn about a different model of care and will be a great change of scenery for me.   I’ll be a lot busier, working 5 days a week (instead of 4) but I think I’m up for the challenge.  The future of primary care in my province is looking hazy right now and I am a little worried. We have been without a contract with our Government for over two years and they are planning on implementing change to how primary care is delivered without consulting the front line workers, ie me!  I felt it was time to start looking at other opportunities where my work is actually appreciated.

I’ve missed the blog.  I hope you missed me too.

 

Reminder

I’ve been in a running slump. I’ve mentioned it before. I’ve only been running about once a week. I don’t know if I’m lacking motivation or what, but I just haven’t been enjoying the little bit of running I’ve been doing. That’s probably because it’s so few and far between and my muscles and joints are saying, “Woah there, honey. What are you doing to us?”

So after saying all week that I was going to go for a run today, or tomorrow, I finally made it happen. It wasn’t pretty and it was slow but I did it. 

I wore a specific race T-shirt to remind my legs that they have gone the distance and they still can. 

I just hope the next time I run isn’t another week from now.   

  

1000 km in 2016

At the beginning of 2015, a fellow blogger asked me to join her in a running challenge. We were going to run 1000 km in 2015. 

Well today I got a message from Nike+ informing me that I didn’t quite reach my goal. I improved upon the 600+ km I ran in 2014.

 

I haven’t run in two weeks. I won’t belabour the reasons why, if you’ve been reading my blog you know why. I plan to get back out there this weekend.  My body and mind need it. 

I will try to get closer to the 1000 km goal in 2016. 

What are your goals for this new year?

  

Required Rest

Day 22 – National Blog Posting Month

Well it’s been almost another week since I’ve run. I guess my body really did need the rest. Haven’t really been needing to run despite feeling kind of gross with my clothes feeling tighter this week. Meh. Whatever. Honestly, I really shouldn’t complain and I know that. 

Anyway, my girlfriend texted me yesterday to see if I was running today and we made the plans for an easy 5 km run. It was a gorgeous morning and a bit cool so I was happy to wear my new bright running jacket. Little did I know that I would be clashing with the new shoes too.  

We set out doing 10:1 intervals and our pace was pretty good. As we started out second set my friends knee starting bugging her so we slowed to a jog then walked. Our plan for 5 km fell short as we were only able to do 3.55 km and the last kilometer we had to walk. Honestly I was fine with that. It was nice to catch up and talk without feeling like I was going to throw up as I normally run alone so don’t usually need to talk to someone. 

It’s pretty clear to me that my. Indy has been telling me to slow it down since the half marathon so I’m going to listen and take it easy.  I could use more time to work on my cross stitching anyway. 

Back on the wagon

Day 17 – National Blog Posting Month.

I finally caved the other day and picked up a new pair of running shoes. From everything I’ve read, shoes should last the average runner about 600-800 km, depending on the brand.  Yeah, not so much for me. I’m lucky if I can get 400 km out of my shoes before I start noticing the shin splints and calf pain coming back.  I must have lead feet when it comes to running. I seem to blow through shoes faster than anyone else I know.

I have also been indulging in far too many Halloween treats after dinner and the waistline is starting to get tight again.  I’m sure it didn’t help that I took a week off running and still ate the way I normally do.  No one else would even notice but I know the extra pounds are there so I have made a decision to just stop with the chocolate.

(At least until Christmas.)

While husband was cooking dinner of fish and broccoli (boring but healthy), I went out for a quick run in my new shoes. They felt great and I ran steady for 22 minutes (3.25 km at an average pace of 6:50 min/km). One of the fastest runs I’ve had in the past month and it felt great not to have that nagging calf pain. New shoes really do make a difference.

I had asked husband to hide the candy and refused to eat any after dinner. He decided to have dessert and brought one of the kid’s Halloween buckets down to the basement and proceeded to eat three or four little chocolate bars right in front of me.

Bastard. 😉

I stayed strong and didn’t have any.  I can feel the withdrawal already this morning.

 

 

MInd/Matter

Day 15 – National Blog Posting Month

I haven’t run in a week. After the half-marathon I didn’t take a break, I just kept going. I ran 10 km a week later and my body started tell me to slow down. Of course, I didn’t listen.  The nagging ache in my calves didn’t let up. The nagging ache in my SI joint started nagging me more. The writing was on the wall.  I needed a rest.

So, for the past week I rested.  I laid off the weights and got on the stationary bike once for 35 minutes. Last night, for the first time in 8 days, I did some upper body weights. I plan on a short 3-5 km run this afternoon.  A week off the running may not be enough physically for my body to rest but my mind needs to get back out there.

When I run I think. Sometimes I think about a recent patient and go over the history, physical exam and lab findings and think of other diagnoses that might have eluded me at the time.  Often I just process my day so that I can leave it on the pavement and start fresh tomorrow. More often than not, it’s a chance for me to have quiet time to reflect on everything and nothing. I guess you could say it’s a form of therapy.

Mind over matter.

October Run Report and Goalification

Day 2 – National Blog Posting Month

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October was a pretty spectacular running month for me. After a summer plagued with injury I was able to make a comeback and completed my first half marathon. It wasn’t fast but I crossed the finish line at 2:37:17 which was three minutes faster than my goal time of 2:40.

Currently I have no plans for my next race. For someone who swore she’d never enter a race, the fact that I have nothing planned honestly feels strange. Never thought I’d ever say that.

My running goals now are to change my long runs to 10:1 intervals – 10 minutes of running then 1 minute of walking. I would also really like to phase out the walking altogether on my regular runs. I’m also going to start running hill repeats once a week provided no new injuries arise. In the past, hills have always led to some sort of injury so I will keep on eye on that.  I have a weight goal as well which is totally silly, but there you have it. It’s the last on my list so it’s not terribly important but I have a number in my head and I would like to reach it. It is likely an unrealistic goal given that I am also doing some weight training and not really being very strict with my diet. One has to live, right?

I can’t wait to see what November brings!

21.1

(or 13.1 for my U.S. Readers)

Race nerves were an all-time high this time around. Earlier in the week I was plagued with migraine headaches and tummy issues and generally I felt like crap. By the weekend I was starting to feel better but couldn’t shake this feeling of a large pit in my stomach. Saturday night I ate turkey with all the fixings – mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts and stuffing. My husband surprised me with a present.  He was going to give it to me after the race but thought it would be better if I wore it while running, which I did and I absolutely adore it.

IMG_0429I went to bed around 10pm but had a hard time falling asleep. Eventually I must have because when I opened my eyes is was 6:10am. I kissed hubby and crawled out of bed.

Coffee. Bathroom break. Toast with peanut butter and honey. Glass of water. Yogurt. Dressed. My neighbor offered me a ride as he was racing too, and we headed out at 7:45am.

By the time I made it through the lineup to use the port-a-potties it was time to head to the start line.  I found two friends who were running together and we started together but they quickly pulled away from me which was totally fine. They were doing 10:1s and I had my own plan.

0-5 km – this flew by. I was doing a lot of people watching and enjoying the crisp morning air. I was dressed perfectly. The leg warmers on my calves were a godsend. Nothing hurt. No shin splints, no groin pain, nothing. I stuck to my 1km run, 100m walk intervals and my legs felt good. I forgot to take sips of water but took some Gatorade at the 3km water station. I was wearing gloves and had to take them off by this point. The gravity of what I was doing kinda suddenly hit me. Jesus Christ I was trying to run a half f&#*ing marathon. What is wrong with me?

IMG_04595-10 km. This part of the course was fun. I was in a good groove and kept to my intervals. I took a photo of the downtown skyline as it appeared on my left, just before making the turn to run along the waterfront.  I started feeling a bit sluggish as I approached the 9 km mark, so so I ate a few of my GU electrolyte Chews.  As I made my way along the waterfront and saw all the other runners running back towards downtown I started to feel like a fish out of water. Like a poser, if you will. I was trying to push that thought away when something else caught my attention.

IMG_0460IMG_046110-15 km. Chest pain. What? It wasn’t time to walk but the sharp pain in my left upper chest wasn’t going away. I slowed down and started walking and evaluated. “I’m not going to be that runner who has a f&#*ing heart attack.”It’s just a muscle spasm, a stitch; I drank that water at the last station too fast.” I focused on my breathing and as it settled down I started running again. I had to laugh at myself a bit. Stupid doctor. That’s when I had to start taking more frequent walk breaks. I was losing steam. I ate some more chews and sipped water. Suddenly it was 14 km. Only 7 km more to go. I can do this.

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I felt a little burst of energy around 16 km. My legs suddenly felt light. I kinda felt like I was floating above the ground as I ran. I briefly thought, “this is the moment you pass out.”

17 km. Only 4 more to go.

1 km. WHat the actual f—?! Oh, that was the for the 5 km run. lol! I literally laughed out loud.

I was taking more walk breaks. Probably every 400 m now but only for about 15-30 seconds.

18km. I grabbed my phone and texted my friend who was volunteering for the marathon and who asked me to let her know when I was close.

IMG_046319 km. “What street am I on? Why can’t I see the finish line? Is that my name on that sign?” It was! It was my friend and I ran over to her and gave her a high-five. I wanted to stop right there. I didn’t want to go on. I ran some more, I walked some more. The cheers got louder. I saw a sign that said 500 m to go. Seriously?  Then 400 m. I walked for about 15 seconds but then felt embarrassed. 300 m. “Just start running. Don’t stop“. And I didn’t. 200 m. I want to die. 100 m. Is that the finish? Don’t trip. Watch the ground. Don’t look up. I think I just crossed the finish line. Thank f#&$ing Christ.

IMG_0464I walked. I felt dizzy. I grabbed a solar blanket thing. I got my medal. I was surprised now heavy it felt. I just kept walking. In a daze. I forgot to drink water. I texted my husband. Took a really bad selfie and sent it to him. I went to go find my other friend who was waiting for me with a coffee. (Bad idea, by the way, the coffee).

We found each other. I could barely talk. She hugged me. She looked like she’d been crying. She took a few pictures. I found the food line. I ate my banana. I ate the yogurt. I forgot to drink water.

Home. Nauseated. Stomach hurt. Wanted to puke. Never, ever want to feel that way again. What have I done to my body?

I wrote on my FB running group.  They were really supportive throughout my training.  I wrote how I was feeling.  Several women responded suggesting I was dehydrated and needed to start drinking fluids, electrolytes. I was in such a daze it never occurred to me that I was dehydrated. It was a scary experience. After I drank an electrolyte mix I felt a lot better. I am starting to feel better today and my body hurts in places I didn’t expect. I am exhausted beyond anything I have experience before. I’m not sure I ever want to run again.

Oh, but at the very beginning of the race I realized I turn 42 next August.

42.

Hmm ….

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Nightmares

I dreamt last night about my first half-marathon race. I had a good start, the legs were feeling great and at 10 km my time was 1:14. Couldn’t have asked for a better start.  Then I turned a corner and in front of me was a suspension bridge. Runners had to climb stairs to the very top and run across the bridge on the cables.


Um, excuse me? You can’t be serious!

I turned around and abandoned the race.  I didn’t want the medal that badly.

Ready. 

I think I’m ready for the half marathon in a couple of weeks. 

This was my last long training run. My friend joined me for the first 7 km and I continued on as she turned back. 

I tried a gel for the first time. It was gross. I then tried a gummy energy chew and it was much more palatable.  I’m glad I used this run to figure that out. 

  
I feel like I’m capable of anything. I can’t wait for the race!