Well, here it is. The last day of November and the last day of daily posting for a little while.
My heart and mind are heavy. It’s been a busy weekend and an emotionally exhausting one as well. I’m finding it really hard to focus and am constantly thinking about my parents. I know that my worry will not go away and that I have to find a way to manage it. The doctor in me tells me to research and learn all I can but the daughter in me can’t bear to carry that knowledge. Now there’s a double-edged sword if I ever saw one.
I miss my laptop. 😔 How utterly ridiculous is that?
After I finished the cleanup yesterday following the birthday party, I went to bed. It was 9:30pm and I’m fairly certain I was asleep before 10pm. Baby woke up at 4am for a drink and then slept again until 7am. Overall I feel like I got a pretty decent nights sleep but who wants to go to bed at 9:30pm every night? I’d never watch another movie or get to cross stitch again!
I clearly needed the rest. I woke up feeling pretty good and decided it was time for a long run. I haven run more than 5-6km in over a month.
Since the half-marathon I’ve really slowed down. I suppose that is to be expected after putting ones body through that kind of stress. I also stopped doing weights and other core work at home and it has all taken its toll. Now with the holidays approaching and the gingerbread lattes and candy cane hot chocolates and the gingerbread decorating parties, I am going to have to compensate for the debauchery with running and getting back on track with my own weight training.
I hope today is the start.
I have switched up my run/walk intervals and have been trying 10/1s with some success. My pace has slowed but that’s probably more due to the increase in time running than anything else. I hope I can work on that over the winter.
Overall it was a decent run. I kept to the 10/1 intervals for the first 5 km then afterwards I needed more frequent walk breaks. I finished strong though, so that shows u had some gas in the tank left.
I almost forgot to write today. After the very long and emotionally draining day that was yesterday, I woke up today with a heavy heart. But life continues and I had to get the house ready for my daughter’s birthday party.
As I was having my morning coffee, I decided for some odd reason to upgrade the operating system on my laptop. It didn’t go well. Something went wrong and the worst thing that could happen actually happened. Blah blah blah operating system could not load … Failure.
I took my laptop to the local Mac store and it’s in their hands now. I don’t want to think about all the documents and photos that are on that computer. They may not be recoverable.
I was up at the crack of dawn this morning (what else is new?) but this time to take my dad to a specialist appointment. We are the first ones here, even before the receptionist!
Since I have taken over this role of being present at most of my parents’ various specialist appointments, I have come to enjoy watching another physician do a physical examination. It’s a great refresher for me, especially the neurological exam. This was my nemesis in medical school. It is probably the most complex sequence of tests and observations I have ever had to learn and I still feel like I never mastered it.
Today I witnessed a skilled clinical fellow perform a thorough neurological examination on my dad.
I knew everything she was doing and why. There were tests I had forgotten about, ones that are very specific and others more general. At the end of the 3 hour appointment, we had some answers and now a few hours later, I have nothing but questions.
I need time to process. I know the road ahead of us. I’ve seen patients and their families go through it. It’s not what I wanted for my parents, least of all my father.
But this is life. It is hard. It is ugly. It is rewarding. It is love.
My toddler is consistently waking in the middle of the night. I’ve written about this before. What we really need to do is let him cry it out but he’s very loud and very persistent and I fear he will wake up the other kids. So I drag my ass out of bed at an ungodly hour and walk down the hallway to his room where he is waiting at the gate with his sippy cup in hand. I walk by, take the cup from him and go down to the kitchen. I hear him walk back to his bed and he’s quiet. By this time the cat has heard the commotion and comes into the kitchen meowing her bloody head off and as I look at her food bowl I notice it’s empty.
I fill the sippy cup with milk and feed the cat then head upstairs. Toddler is still in his bed waiting for milk. I climb over the gate, almost tripping over it and he laughs as I stumble toward his bed. I kiss him on the forehead, say “Night, Night”, hand him his milk and leave the room.
Crawling back to bed I fall back asleep and instantly am awakened again by the 4.5 year old running down the hallway.
Well it’s been almost another week since I’ve run. I guess my body really did need the rest. Haven’t really been needing to run despite feeling kind of gross with my clothes feeling tighter this week. Meh. Whatever. Honestly, I really shouldn’t complain and I know that.
Anyway, my girlfriend texted me yesterday to see if I was running today and we made the plans for an easy 5 km run. It was a gorgeous morning and a bit cool so I was happy to wear my new bright running jacket. Little did I know that I would be clashing with the new shoes too.
We set out doing 10:1 intervals and our pace was pretty good. As we started out second set my friends knee starting bugging her so we slowed to a jog then walked. Our plan for 5 km fell short as we were only able to do 3.55 km and the last kilometer we had to walk. Honestly I was fine with that. It was nice to catch up and talk without feeling like I was going to throw up as I normally run alone so don’t usually need to talk to someone.
It’s pretty clear to me that my. Indy has been telling me to slow it down since the half marathon so I’m going to listen and take it easy. I could use more time to work on my cross stitching anyway.
I did that Facebook most words used app/thingy. I really had no idea what it would come up with but when I saw the final result I laughed.
A few years ago, I wouldn’t have ever put “me” and “run” in the same sentence. It’s so funny how things can change. A few years ago I couldn’t run to save my life and a month ago I ran across a half-marathon finish line.
Hubby and I were out last night. We grabbed some dinner at a local pub and saw a concert. After the show was over I suggested we try to get in to see a late movie. We saw the new Bond movie, Spectre. It was a long movie and being the lame parents of three children, we both looked at each other at 1:15 am and said, “Let’s go.” We were both falling asleep, we were so tired. Though, I gotta say, I was so unimpressed with this latest Bond offering. Daniel Craig looked bored. He looked like he was just going through the motions and that was disappointing. Still, he’s easy on the eyes so it wasn’t a complete waste of money.
As I write this, my daughter is texting her uncle on my phone and the boys are playing with Lego on the floor under the dining room table.
I need to live up to my FB reputation – I must sign off now so I can go for a run.