The mouths of babes

Husband is at a rehearsal for a show next week. A friend’s band is doing a covers night and they asked him to sing a song so I am home alone tonight with three kids.

Bedtime gets started early here. The baby was in his crib at 6pm with his bottle. The older boy was in the bath and the eldest was I her room writing something.

She came in to show me. “How to be good”.  I was very impressed!  She knows the rules!  Too bad she doesn’t actually follow them!

 

Listen. No talking back. Do something the firs time you are asked. Do as you are told. Focus your ears. Do not ignore. And all this information is good.

After bath, I read them a few of daddy’s old Smurfs and Ewoks comic books.  Then it was time to get into bed. I told them a make-up story all about Princess Rose and the good transformer who worked with the Prince to rescue her from the bad transformer.  But that story wasn’t enough, so I had to tell another one with Spiderman and how he became Spider-transformer after Optimus Prime injected him with nano-bots to assist the Autobots in taking down the bad transformer.  (Neither kids has seen the Transformer movies, or the cartoon, but their daddy tells them these make-up stories all the time.  I’m sure mine paled in comparison.)

Bedtime seemed to be going so well until it didn’t.  Suddenly neither of them were settling down and my voice started increasing in tone and pitch, and I may have tapped her on the back a little harder than I had intended in an attempt to get her attention and stop sitting up in bed. I’d gotten hit in the face at least three times by the Spiderman doll and clearly had enough and that’s when the waterworks from the girl started:

“You never spend any time with me.”

“I just don’t know what to say to you.”

“Why do you always have to work?”

“Why can’t you just spend all your time with us?”

Oy.  She’s a master manipulator.  At the age of six!

Needless to say, bedtime took about 3 hours.  It’s a little after 9pm, I haven’t had my dinner and I’m seriously considering opening a bottle of wine.

I swear I have no idea how my husband does this on a daily basis. He’s amazing.

Dry.

For the past few nights, our oldest son has asked not to wear a diaper at nighttime.  He will be 4 years old in April.  Husband and I haven’t really encouraged the no diaper at bedtime mostly because we don’t really want to deal with the potential mess the next morning.

Lazy, right?

You betcha!

In fact, it was his preschool teacher who told us that he was dry during the day and was using the bathroom with the other kids.  She asked that we don’t send him in pull-ups anymore.  This was about 4-5 months ago.

Anyway, last night this was my conversation with my son.

As I’m trying to get him to take off his underwear so I can put a diaper on:

Him: “No, Mommy.  No diaper.”

Me: “Yes, honey.  What if you make a pee at nighttime?

Him: “But I don’t, mommy! I don’t pee in my bed.”

Me: “Is your diaper dry when you wake up in the morning?”

Him: “Yes.”

Me: “And then you make a pee in the diaper?”

Him: “No” (His diaper is usually full in the morning, so I’m not entirely sure he understood what I was asking.) “Mommy, big boys and big girls don’t wear diapers at nighttime.  I’m a big boy now.”

How could I argue with a statement like that?

He went to the bathroom, made a big boy pee and we put him to bed in his underwear. (We also put a towel underneath him and his mattress also has a waterproof cover so in the event of an accident we’d likely be okay.)

This morning, despite the time change, everyone woke up at 7:30am.  Husband called out to son, “Did you pee in your underwear?”  The answer back, a proud “No!!”.  “Go make a pee then,” husband said.

Frankly, I was quite surprised.  I didn’t think he was ready but that little boy proved me wrong.  As a reward, I made pancakes for breakfast this morning.

photo(35)

Clearly I’m too busy trying to take a photo to enforce table etiquette rules.

 

Messages

With Valentine’s Day coming up, the older two kids have been working on their cards for their classmates.  Daughter got it in her head that I have to make heart-shaped cookies for her entire class.  She has reminded me every day this week.  This morning I received another reminder in the form of a note. She wrote it so I wouldn’t forget to go to the local Bulk Barn and look for a cookie cutter in the shape of a heart.

photo 1(1)Her brother then decided he had to write me a note as well (keep in mind this all went down while I was struggling to get their coats and boots on as we were running late, again!).  He will be 4 years old in April and has only been drawing consistently for a few months.
photo 2(5)

This is only the second smiley face he’s drawn and I am completely in love with it.

So now I must do my duty and get everything I need to make vanilla cookies tonight.

 

Deep thoughts.

Why must a 3-year-old take 10 minutes to brush his teeth? Why does he have to drink water from the exact same cup with precisely 3 cubes (because that’s how old is)?

Why do you have to ask your 6-year-old repeatedly to do a simple task? Why must she insist on doing it in her own sweet time? Is it because she knows it infuriates her mother and it’s her only source of power?

Why do I have to read the same bedtime story every.single.night for weeks on end? I can practically recite Herbert the Timid Dragon by heart. “Take that, you varmint!” “What’s a varmint?”

When and why does the obedient, smiling toddler become the infuriating and disobedient child? Is it to drive parents to drink? I’m starting to think so.

2015/01/img_5966.jpg

Thursday Mishmash.

Woke up this morning to a very large blanket of snow.  The kids of course were just beside themselves with glee to look out the window and see nothing but a white winter wonderland. So excited were they that when I came down to breakfast their snow-pants, jackets and boots were lying on the floor all ready to go.  I called them, “Flat N” and “Flat J” and then explained how runners showcase their gear the night before a race. Like this:

Amidst the hustle and bustle of getting everyone ready this morning I was still coughing and my chest felt like it was on fire. So after we got everyone to school I went to the local clinic and had a chest x-ray.  I’m sure it’ll be negative but I’ve been coughing for almost five weeks and I’m getting sick of it, pardon the pun.  All three kids are sick and I’m pretty sure the baby (well, now a toddler) has an ear infection so husband is bringing him to the pediatrician this afternoon.

I’m sitting in my office now as patient after patient cancels their appointments today due to the inclement weather.  It really is quite pretty out there.  After I got the x-ray I walked into the local coffee shop (a Starbucks which normally I try to avoid) and got a Peppermint Mocha.  Holy good God in Heaven.  Pure joy.  There is something about peppermint and chocolate around the holiday season that gets me every time.

photo(27)I think I’m ready for a nap now.

Six year old vandal.

photo(21)

I love Mommy, Daddy. Secret Map.

 

A teacher from my daughter’s school called me the other day to report an “incident” involving my daughter at recess.

First of all, any phone call from my kid’s school sends my heart rate soaring with that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong.

Secondly, if the school has to call me in the middle of the workday, it had better be for a darn good reason.

So of course my mind started working as the teacher introduced herself ….

  • Did my kid hit another kid?
  • Did my kid get hurt by another kid?
  • Was there an accident on the playground?
  • Did she wander off at recess?

No actually, my daughter was found using a stick to scratch words on the outdoor gym doors.

  • Oh my god… were they bad words?

The teacher tried not to laugh.  No, they weren’t bad words.  They were, “I love you”, “I love mommy and daddy.” But when the girls were told that what they were doing was wrong, apparently my daughter burst into tears and was devastated that she got in trouble.  The teacher told me my daughter said, “I usually a good girl”.  The teacher said she felt awful after seeing my daughter’s reaction.  She made sure  to tell me that she felt my daughter understood the seriousness of what she had done wrong and had learned her lesson.

When I texted husband (who picked her up from school a half hour before the phone call) he had no idea what had happened.  Daughter apparently felt it wasn’t worth mentioning to her father. The had a talk and he sent her to her room and told her she could draw and write words on her sketch pad and read a book.

When I got home from work she was still in her room.  I asked her to tidy up her Barbie dolls and tended to the baby.  When I returned to her room, not only did she clean up the Barbie dolls, she also tidied up her room!!!  Hmm …. sucking up to mommy maybe?

I took her Barbie dolls away for the night.  There were no promises made on when she’d get them back.  We had a long talk about when and where it’s appropriate to draw and write.  We talked about vandalism and the consequences of it.  The school would have to repaint the doors and it wouldn’t be inappropriate for them to ask us to cover the cost (though I seriously doubt that would happen).  We also talked about listening to our instincts. After I explained what that meant, she admitted that she knew it was wrong to write on the door,  but she did it anyway because her best friend wanted to.  Her best friend ever! (She met this girl in September, remember.) I told her next time to suggest another activity.  She said she was dumb and stupid for doing what she did.  Yeah, she was, but I didn’t agree with her.  She’s six years old for heaven’s sake!! She made a mistake and hopefully learned from it. She’s certainly not dumb nor stupid.

But I am a little miffed with the school.  Back in my day, defacing school property probably meant detention right?  Do they even give detention in grade 1 anymore?

 

A New Hope.

Day 29. National Blog Posting Month.

Yesterday afternoon husband showed the new Star Wars teaser trailer to the kids. Star Wars (the original trilogy from the 70’s and early 80’s) was hugely influential to my husband.  I mean, he can recite the films line by line entirely from memory.  The epitome of geek, right? The kids have already seen Star Wars: A New Hope more times than I can count. Daughter has seen The Empire Strikes Back only once and she just turned six.

In our household Episodes 1-3 do not exist.  Husband was so disappointed in that trilogy that he desperately tries to erase it from his memory and if has anything to say about it the kids will never know those movies.  I have to agree with him – those films are pretty awful.  So when we heard earlier this year that Disney (of all companies!!!) bought the rights to the Star Wars franchise and were planning a series of movies, husband and I were skeptical.  Then when it was announced that J.J. Abrams (Felicity, Alias, Lost, Fringe) would be directing the first film of the new trilogy – well, husband was just beside himself and not in a good way.  J.J. “Lens Flare” Abrams? Now in his (J.J, not the husband’s) defense, the reboot of Star Trek was pretty darn good. Maybe J.J. would pay homage to the original trilogy with his film?  One dares to hope, right?

I haven’t been following the news of Episode 7 as closely as husband so I wasn’t aware that the teaser trailer was being released. When I got home from work yesterday afternoon, husband and son were screening the trailer for the … wait for it … 5th time!! Was it that good? Husband wouldn’t say until I watched it.

And watch it I did.  And I loved it!  I actually got a few goosebumps. The images reminded me a lot of Episode 4 and that has me encouraged that J.J Abrams is respecting the original trilogy and what it meant to the fans. Watching the kids react to the trailer was so amazing.  Daughter will be 7 and son will be 4.5 when it is released in theaters next December.  What a perfect age to bear witness to a brand Star Wars Trilogy.

We can’t wait!