It’s the middle of January and I’ve run a whopping 18 km. If I am to meet my goal of running 1000 km this year, I need to be running minimum 20 km per week! I’ve been struggling finding the time and motivation to run. The office has been exceptionally busy thanks to the two weeks off I took over the holidays. And with the drama the holidays had for me, I didn’t feel particularly rested. I hardly ran much at all in December (28.5 km) and that inactivity seems to have seeped into this first month of the year.
I acknowledged yesterday that I’m in a running slump. Almost daily I get emails about upcoming races in my area. I haven’t signed up for anything yet but I think I need to in order to get out of this funk I’m in. I am also annoyed with my body. I just can’t seem to go any long stretch of time without an injury, not to mention I feel that after two years of running, I should be able to run more then 3-4 km at a steady pace without walking. Perhaps that’s too much to ask for?
I also seemed to have lost something when I left Instagram and subsequently deleted my profile. I lost that connection to other runners (to strangers, really) that I followed on Instagram. And just saying that makes me angry. I am angry with how I came to rely on those stupid notifications on my phone that someone liked my latest run photo.
I wish I could abandon all of it and just go back to that insular quiet little life where no one knows what I’m doing unless they ask or I tell them. This constant need/desire to broadcast one’s life over the Internet and get instant gratification for it is narcissistic and I’m ashamed for allowing myself to get caught up in it.
So yeah, I’m in a bit of a funk.