6 AM

I’m so fried right now, I can barely think straight.

The “baby” has learned how to climb out of his crib. He’ll be 2 next month. I’m not ready for him to be in a big-boy bed but he’s at risk for fracturing something if he keeps this up.  And speaking of up, since he’s discovered this little trick, when he wakes up at 6am he no longer talks to himself in the crib.  He gets out of this crib, opens his door and comes to my room.  This morning he discovered there were monkeys on his pajamas.

“MOMMY!  Monkey!”

“Yes, monkey,” I reply half-asleep.

(Louder) MOMMY!!!!!  Monkey!!

“Uh huh…”

(LOUDER) “DADDY!!! DADDDY!  Monkey!”

(Snoring)

“MOMMY! I hugry. Mommy!  I HUGRY!”

“Too early for breakfast,” I mutter.

“DADDY!  I hugry!”

“Okay,” in a very deep sleepy voice.

This goes on for about 10 minutes.  I finally get up to get the kid some milk and the other two spawn are coming out of their room all bright-eye and bushy-tailed.

They are all smiles, “Hi Mommy!  Can we go downstairs?”

And the morning begins.

Zzzz….

Kids get up really early.  Like, 6am, early.  Especially when the bedtime shenanigans mean they’re finally asleep by 8:30pm when the norm in this household is 7pm.

Last night was epic.  Husband usually does the bedtime routine as the baby usually starts cluster feeding at exactly the same time.  Last night he was getting ready to go to a concert, so I took over bedtime.  Baby was surprisingly asleep.  The kids were overtired so you can imagine the disaster that ensued.  (I say disaster, but husband just calls it routine.)  The kids are used to their dad putting them to bed, so they kept asking for him.

Bedtime took almost two hours!  Eventually, husband left with our friends and I was left with a cold pizza for dinner, one child (the eldest) asleep on the top bunk and the toddler playing quietly in the room with the lights on.

Oh, and did I mention I was just a teensy bit stressed that one child was still awake?  I was hungry, had a baby attached to my breast for well over an hour and emotions were running high.  I retreated to my basement cave, drank a glass of wine, had my cold pizza and started a Smallville marathon while listening to the toddler do God-knows-what in the bedroom.  I could hear him talking about stars on the floor and it was close to 8:45pm by now, so I decided it was time to put him back to bed.

By the time I got halfway up the stairs, he was coming down with a mischievous grin on his face.  “Back to bed, momma?” he said. As we went into his room, I saw that he had put a lot of little purple shiny flower stickers on the bedroom floor by the door. I tried to stifle a laugh.

What a toddler does when he's supposed to be sleeping.

What a toddler does when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

His big sister was sound asleep on the top bunk, bright lights on and all.  Quite the amusing sight.  I gently put the little guy back to bed on the bottom bunk and explained that his big sister was asleep, it was time for bed and he was not to turn on the light again or I would put him in the crib (which he now hates).  I left the room and waited at the top of the stairs.  No signs of movement (or mischief) after five minutes.

Ah … the pleasant sound of silence.  Finally.

I was soon fast asleep (so much for that marathon viewing of Smallville).  The baby woke up a few times which is pretty typical, then I was jolted awake at 6am by the sounds of the toddler falling out of the bottom bunk.  By the time I got up the stairs, husband was with them and all was fine.  Unfortunately, the kids were now awake and as husband had only been home for a few hours, he needed sleep, so the kids came to see me in the basement.  I’ve been watching Thomas the Tank Engine for the past hour and a half.

I need coffee, preferably via IV drip.  Anyone?